Monday, May 13, 2013

OF DOGS, GIRLS AND THE SHILLING.

There is a story whispered in Kenya of a couple of college girls who were "lured" into acting a porn movie by a foreigner. Now, it is further whispered that a dog (an actual dog) was involved in this drama. To make it even juicier, there are louder whispers of the girls being offered a measly ksh.3000 to take part in the show.Furthermore, someone had the decency of posting the names and photos of the young women on the internet. Their parents must be so proud of their little girls.

Okay, away from the whispers, it is a sad occurence when brilliant and beautiful girls are lured into such an act for pay. And it is even sadder when we get to laugh and ridicule them without looking at the wider picture. I believe that the whole society is to blame here. And I am not talking about their and our parents/grandparents. Rather, I am talking about the younger, hippier and "swaggered" section of society that worships money and anything shiny. How many of you have looked down upon a fellow college-mate or workmate just because they have not "chanukad"? We talk about lanes people want to belong in acceptable lanes, right? The lane of glamor and beauty.

The media is awash with beautiful, well-adorned women who look so polished and pretty. Right from the hair (which is fake by the way) to the painted toe nails in stylish high heels. Plenty of college-going girls have expensive possessions, some you would not expect a college student to have. Like, how does a college student afford and maintain a Ksh.15,000 weave (again, it is a weave, not their real hair). Or how do you explain a college student who is lounging in Watamu this weekend and eating fish along the shores of Lake Victoria the next one?

We have let money and glitzy possessions define us and where in society we belong. And we have put the pressure on our young sisters to be glamorous as their ticket to be accepted in society. Many have done things to be among the "accepted" in society. These girls, whom we condemn and ridicule behind the safety of our computers had the misfortune of being caught, so we laugh.

We laugh at their exposed "closets", because our sins are locked away. A lock is just that, and maybe one day, the clothes and junk we pile in the closet will be too much for a flimsy lock and all may come tumbling out. Therefore, before we point fingers at these college girls who engaged in unacceptable acts, let us point a few fingers our way.

Our young sisters are getting lost in murky waters of seeking fame and a few coins. Are we not the ones who have celebrated and made famous women who pose nude and termed them "socialites"? Are we not the ones who have defined lanes according to how many photos that I can post on instagram traversing the country? Are we not the ones who have said that it is okay to look glamorous, and that we do not care how or where you get the money from? Are we not the ones who have folded our hands and encouraged our little sisters to try out the new "bendover" dancing style and clapped as she bent and twisted? Are we not...

So, while we stand there and adopt the holier-than-thou demeanor, just remember that that girl found committing a bestiality act with a dog may have been your sister or cousin or friend. Just what example are you setting to your sibling. Is their self worth less important than a few coins in the purse?

Friday, May 3, 2013

A letter from a voter who is a thief.

 Dear Hon. Adan Duale,

I hear that you called me a thief, yes I am a voter and I am a thief. You see, Dear Adan Duale, I do agree, I am a thief and I am deeply ashamed of myself for having stolen from MPs.

I am an ordinary Kenyan who woke up at 5am, no, I slept at the polling station so that I would be among the first in line to vote for you. Unfortunately, by 11am, the polling station was not open yet and I still braved the scorching sun and waited for the polling clerks to finish their slumber and open up the stations. That day, you comfortably sat in your house, arrived at the polling station in a Prado and proceeded to the front of the line to vote for yourself. You are a Mheshimiwa and I am a thief.

I hear that they call you Honourable, and I shall call you thus. So, Hon. Duale, I am the thief who left her sukumawiki kibanda to come and cast my vote for you. I am that thief that owns a motorbike but decided that voting for you was a better venture that day than toiling for that 200 shilling note that I take home every day. By the way, how much is a 200 shilling note to you? I bet you do not even know how that note looks like. I have seen you count your money and you only handle millions, right? Besides, half a million pay is meagre pay to you. How do we, Kenyans, expect you, Mheshimiwa, to survive on a half a million shilling budget? Oh, and the car, house, entertainment etc allowances. Those are too little and cannot support your Honourable expenses.

So, let us talk about this half a million salary that cannot support your lifestyle. I wish that the thief in me could lay a hand on such an amount. Do you know what I would do? Oh, Honorable MP, I would expand my kibanda and open a duka, I would send my child to secondary school, I would buy myself a nice pair of shoes so that I do not go barefooted, my mother is sick but I cannot afford her hospital bill, I would finally be able to. I have always dreamt of owning my own 1-roomed house where my children would call home, I bet that I can have that with half a million shillings.

This letter is to apologize to you, oh dear Honourable MP. I have realized that I am  a thief and I sincerely apologize for robbing you of a comfortable life. But I know what you can do so that the thief in me does not interfere with your lifestyle. We can switch roles, spend a day being me and get to experience how a thief lives like.

You see, Honourable MP, I am the kind of thief who steals Museveni's cows and bundles them all inside Parliament Buildings to huddle closely and plot on how they are "going to protect the Constitution." I am a thief who had no sense of judgement before I decided to steal all 300+ cows and put them under one shed. What is it they say about a cow being a cow even if dressed in suits and sitted at the back of a sleek limousine?

Sincerely,

Kenyan Thief.