KENYA AT 50; WE NEED TO CELEBRATE.

Who said that there is nothing to celebrate in Kenya? We have plenty of achievements and have made great strides in Kenya and we do need 2.5 Billion to celebrate. Sit your behinds down as I tell you of the many achievements we need to celebrate in Kenya. 

Firstly, we have the teachers' strike, sorry double-strike. We can celebrate that, can't we? Look at it this way, teachers go on strike, the government flexes its muscles, teachers go back to class then the government withholds their salaries, teachers go back to the streets. See the cycle? What is not to celebrate there? Our government has muscles and has mastered the art of deceit. Don't get me wrong. Being a deceitful one is a good quality when dealing with "unruly" characters like teachers. Besides, we have plenty of private schools around, why bother with a "small' population that is in Public schools? My child is in a private institution, she was not affected by the strike. Reason to celebrate.

Secondly, have you checked your receipt after shopping for essential items? Here is a quick way of knowing how much you will spend according to the items in your shopping basket. For every 3 items that you pick from the shelf, consider Ksh.1000 already spent. Don't believe me? Okay. So, back on track, if we did not have money in our pockets, how is it possible that supermarkets are always full of spenders? Is that not cause to celebrate? That we have money in our pockets? 

Our economy can sustain a salaries of legislators who are ranked second highest paid in the world (congratulations Nigeria, you beat us to that).  Our economy can build an 80-year old man an office worth 700 Million Shillings and buy balloons for the Silver Jubilee celebrations. Oh, we do need a 50 Million bronze statue to remind us of the former president. Who doesn't know that a statue is more important than doctors' threats to go on strike because they have not been paid their salaries? Have you checked out the public wage bill? See world, we can afford to buy balloons, publicity and a statue for just 2.5B. Stop calling us a 3rd world country. Hello America, your dollar is flooring our shilling? We are not worried about that. Watch our Shilling, it will overtake the Dollar soon. Just watch this space.

Who said that we can't celebrate? Look, the VP went on a tour around Africa by a hired private jet. We have "misplaced' the documents needed to audit the true amount used to hire the jet. It was at a cost of just Ksh. 100M. Pocket change, uh? But then, we have a culture of "misplacing" things. Like when a certain former Finance Minister misplaced a couple of zeros in the national budget. Remember that? 

So, ye Kenyans complaining that we do not have cause to celebrate, think again. Look around you. Check out that MP who just passed you on the road in a convoy of 12 cars and a couple of whining motorcycles. Just check out how poor Turkana residents are despite the discovery of oil in their backyard. Check out how mineral rich Kwale is but ignore the poverty of people who live there. Check out our MPs' pay cheques and celebrate as teachers, doctors etc fight to have a few hundred notes in their pockets. Who said we cannot celebrate? 50 years is ground for celebration. Look, we are even demolishing houses to build roads. I mean, do we even care how long someone has saved to put up a house? Can't you see that we need to celebrate the recalling of security details for some leaders? That is a lot of taxpayers' money recovered.

So, let's all join in celebration. Let's not make noise dear Kenyans because we can fund the celebrations. 2.5B is pocket change. Teachers, doctors, the military and everyone else are just noisemakers and celebration-resistant people. We really need to celebrate. It is good for Public Relations, right? Besides, as we fill our stomachs with food and watch the balloons fly high, we will hug each other and smile because, Kenya is 50 years old; we have moved from being a colony of white people to a colony of black brothers.

As I raise my glass of water (I can't afford wine), here's to my country. Happy 50 years. 

THE NETWORKING PROBLEM AMONG WOMEN

Are women their own worst enemies? This is a question that many have posed and nodded to when asked. I am not here to agree or disagree with this but to put a point across. Recently, I went out dancing with a bunch of my girls. It was one of those nights where we happened to meet at a cosy joint that had some good live band on stage. In our company, were two guys, a black and a white guy. As we danced and made merry, I noticed that the two guys were engaged in serious conversation and I was curious to find out what it was that they were so engrossed in. I mean, it is night, the band is entertaining and they are in the company of 3 beautiful ladies, just what serious conversation would take place in such a setting? It should be noted that the two men had never met before, it so happened that they were dating my two friends who knew each other.

I had to ask what they were talking about so I took my curious self to where they were seated. They were discussing business and prospective money-generating activities that they can engage in in Kenya. You should have seen them talk, they looked like they had known each other for a long time. I looked around the club. Most of the women were gyratting on the dancing floor, moving their hips in provocative ways as they seduced their men, most of whom were left seated on the table, sipping their drinks. A few laps around the club made me realize that men were talking, occassionally lifting their heads to glance in the direction of their wome, who would in turn move suggestively and "vibrate" more.

As I sat down with my "girls" after a dancing session, one of them observed that women would never be equal to men in the economic world because men have a strong powerful weapon that most women do not possess. MEN SEIZE EVERY OPPORTUNITY TO NETWORK. I started to disagree, but I had to hold my tongue when I noticed that the men we were seated with had already exchanged contacts with four other men seated on a different table. What about the women in the club? Oh, we danced and eyed each others dress and commented on the shoes that "that girl seated on that table was wearing" or the way "that girl was dressed in a short dress which did not flatter her body shape." Did I forget to mention that we were on the look-out for that woman who would dare come near "my man"?

So, are women really their own worst enemies? Do we seize opportunities to network and build business relations? Or do we size each other and refrain from making important contacts just because we are women?

That was an important lesson on that day. Business relations can be formed anywhere, at any time. Be it in a nightclub, in a salon during manicures, or in the toilet taking a leak. Have you ever considered that the person seated next to you in a salon might be a C.E.O of a company and may offer you an internship/job? Or do you stare at her hairdo and silently pray that the relaxer burns her scalp?

I do not believe that women are jealous of each other, I just think that we pass up many opportunities to network and be great. No wonder, there are very few women leaders in the corporate world as compared to men.

Picture courtesy: Source.