Firstly, we have the teachers' strike, sorry double-strike. We can celebrate that, can't we? Look at it this way, teachers go on strike, the government flexes its muscles, teachers go back to class then the government withholds their salaries, teachers go back to the streets. See the cycle? What is not to celebrate there? Our government has muscles and has mastered the art of deceit. Don't get me wrong. Being a deceitful one is a good quality when dealing with "unruly" characters like teachers. Besides, we have plenty of private schools around, why bother with a "small' population that is in Public schools? My child is in a private institution, she was not affected by the strike. Reason to celebrate.
Secondly, have you checked your receipt after shopping for essential items? Here is a quick way of knowing how much you will spend according to the items in your shopping basket. For every 3 items that you pick from the shelf, consider Ksh.1000 already spent. Don't believe me? Okay. So, back on track, if we did not have money in our pockets, how is it possible that supermarkets are always full of spenders? Is that not cause to celebrate? That we have money in our pockets?
Our economy can sustain a salaries of legislators who are ranked second highest paid in the world (congratulations Nigeria, you beat us to that). Our economy can build an 80-year old man an office worth 700 Million Shillings and buy balloons for the Silver Jubilee celebrations. Oh, we do need a 50 Million bronze statue to remind us of the former president. Who doesn't know that a statue is more important than doctors' threats to go on strike because they have not been paid their salaries? Have you checked out the public wage bill? See world, we can afford to buy balloons, publicity and a statue for just 2.5B. Stop calling us a 3rd world country. Hello America, your dollar is flooring our shilling? We are not worried about that. Watch our Shilling, it will overtake the Dollar soon. Just watch this space.
Who said that we can't celebrate? Look, the VP went on a tour around Africa by a hired private jet. We have "misplaced' the documents needed to audit the true amount used to hire the jet. It was at a cost of just Ksh. 100M. Pocket change, uh? But then, we have a culture of "misplacing" things. Like when a certain former Finance Minister misplaced a couple of zeros in the national budget. Remember that?
So, ye Kenyans complaining that we do not have cause to celebrate, think again. Look around you. Check out that MP who just passed you on the road in a convoy of 12 cars and a couple of whining motorcycles. Just check out how poor Turkana residents are despite the discovery of oil in their backyard. Check out how mineral rich Kwale is but ignore the poverty of people who live there. Check out our MPs' pay cheques and celebrate as teachers, doctors etc fight to have a few hundred notes in their pockets. Who said we cannot celebrate? 50 years is ground for celebration. Look, we are even demolishing houses to build roads. I mean, do we even care how long someone has saved to put up a house? Can't you see that we need to celebrate the recalling of security details for some leaders? That is a lot of taxpayers' money recovered.
So, let's all join in celebration. Let's not make noise dear Kenyans because we can fund the celebrations. 2.5B is pocket change. Teachers, doctors, the military and everyone else are just noisemakers and celebration-resistant people. We really need to celebrate. It is good for Public Relations, right? Besides, as we fill our stomachs with food and watch the balloons fly high, we will hug each other and smile because, Kenya is 50 years old; we have moved from being a colony of white people to a colony of black brothers.
As I raise my glass of water (I can't afford wine), here's to my country. Happy 50 years.
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